he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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