i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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