seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
