you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
