I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Come see our sink grown plant.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize