The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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