Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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