My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize