i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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