franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize