I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
