today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
