They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
