Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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