Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
