so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
