She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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