3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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