I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
