Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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