im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
