She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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