I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
