So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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