He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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