I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
