I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
