I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
