I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
