Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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