I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
