thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
