thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize