maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
