This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There was a lot of him and a little penis
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
