The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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