Your tits are I can't wait for
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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