Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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