I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I look better un-naked...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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