i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
