I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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