and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
