I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Randomize
