if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
