I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize