I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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