ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
