Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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