They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
