...so i touched it.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
