Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
