he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
