Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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