My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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