The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
