Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My liver just had a heart attack.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
