you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
