eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
We are all done wearing pants today
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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