You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
