Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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