Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
