Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
