Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
