I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
