If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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