he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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