We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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