I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
