He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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