She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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