my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize