It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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