its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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