jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
