You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
