oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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