the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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