im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
