Your dad touched me again.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
