Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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